Unexpected
by jenniee
Summary: Will and Alicia deal with challenges after their breakup.
1. Chapter 1

**Just the beginning of a multi chapter story:**

"I can't, Will. It's too much… I can't."

Alicia collapsed into his arms, letting him hold her one last time. She savored it, the feeling of his arms wrapped strongly around her, in pure daylight, for all in the office to see. What did it matter now? It was over anyway.

"I'm so sorry. I'm going to miss you."

She had never spoken truer words. She knew that, if she was being honest with herself, she felt very strongly about Will. But there were just too many distractions and Grace was right, she needed to just get rid of them. After all, her daughter could have been kidnapped yesterday, and she wasn't around to do anything about it. She needed all her time away from work to be with Zach and Grace, and they needed her. So she shoved aside her feelings for Will and made one of the hardest decisions she had ever made in her life.

As she walked out of his office, tears streaming down her face, she wasn't thinking about who in the office could see her, who saw her hug her boss far too tenderly, or what anyone was thinking. She was thinking about Will and the way he looked when she first opened the door. His face had lit up when he saw her. He looked almost hopeful, like he needed to tell her something. She wondered what that something could have been, but soon pushed it aside, off into a deep recess of her mind where she hoped to suppress all her feelings towards him.

Will paced nervously around his office. He sat on his couch, rearranged his magazines on the coffee table. Finding that he could not sit still, he stood, rebuttoned his jacket, and continued pacing. Finally, he forced himself to sit in a chair and think. His talk with Kalinda had made him realize something. Not that he was ready for something more than just work. This, he already knew. He knew that for years. But he wanted that something to be Alicia, and he wanted it bad. He loved her, he really did. He thinks he probably did love her ever since Georgetown and that was the reason he never thought about other women the way he thought about her. He could actually see himself spending the rest of his life with her, growing old together. He had hidden his true feelings in fear of scaring her off. She was so reserved, refusing to talk about what they were doing and never acknowledging that it was anything more than just fun. He understood this. She was, after all, still technically married, and had only recently split from Peter. But, he couldn't wait forever. He didn't need Alicia to reciprocate his feelings, but just give him hope that she would stick around, until one day, she could.

He began thinking of ways to tell her. Should he come right out with it like in that second voicemail he thought she had ignored, "Alicia, I love you." Or should he work his way up to it, letting her slowly take it in. He couldn't wait for her to come into his office, as she did each day before she left work, and also, he hoped she might never come, for years and years, so he would not have to do this.

He heard a soft knock on the door, and she walked in. He took a sharp intake of air. Seeing her every time was like seeing her for the first time, sitting by the pool at that party in Georgetown. She was so beautiful, with her glossy black hair and dark eyes that could always see through him. He suddenly was not so sure what he was so afraid of. It now seemed like the most natural thing in the world that he should tell her how he felt.

But he soon saw something else in her face, something more than the stress at Grace's disappearance yesterday. Before he could even begin to tell her anything, she dropped her head, "I can't, Will. It's too much… I can't."

It felt like his world was crashing down around him. His plan fell apart in shambles. He couldn't find any words, so he pulled her into a hug, thinking this might just be the last time he gets to hold her.

"I'm so sorry. I'm going to miss you."

He still doesn't speak, afraid that if he opens his mouth, he will betray his calm façade. And he needs to be strong for her right now. So he remains silent and hugs her closer, for all the office to see. What did it matter now? It was over anyway. His life was over. His hopes for a future with her crushed to pieces. He couldn't have a life outside of work with anyone but Alicia. He realized it wasn't the type of life that he wanted, it was her. He just wanted her in any way, but that wasn't a reality anymore.

So, he let her go. Let her run from his office with tears streaming down his face when all he wanted was to grab her and kiss them away, telling her that everything will be alright, that he will make it alright.

But, he doesn't. Like so many times before, he let her get away. He sat back in his chair, dejected, where he had sat only minutes before as the most hopeful man in the world.

When Diane offered him scotch, he wasn't surprised that she had seen the interaction. He also wasn't surprised that she thought he had ended it. After all, Alicia had been the one who cried. So he allowed her to think that. If he couldn't have Alicia, he would at least try to remain on good terms with Diane. His partnership with her was the closest he would ever come to a functional relationship with a woman. So he took the much-needed scotch from her hands.

"She'll get over it."

"Yeah, _she _will."


	2. Chapter 2

The next few weeks at the office passed with awkward glances and unspoken feelings between the two of them. Alicia spent Christmas Eve with Zach and Grace; they were to spend Christmas day with Peter. It was her first holiday alone and somehow it made her realize just how alone she was. Several times she half reached for her phone, to call or text Will, before realizing that she couldn't do that anymore. After the kids were in bed, she poured herself a glass of wine and sat down on the sofa. She dialed the number of the one person she could still talk to.

"Hey Leesh, Merry Christmas"

"Merry Christmas to you too, Owen."

"You're calling pretty late, what's up?"

"Nothing, the kids are in bed. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, you know."

"I'm sorry, Leesh, I should be there for you, with Peter being gone and all."

"Owen, really, I'm fine. I really did just want to wish you a Merry Christmas."

"Right, because one o'clock am is the normal time for siblings to wish each other a Merry Christmas."

"Okay, so maybe I'm a little lonely. But I'm fine okay?"

"You should call him."

"What?"

"Will... You should call him."

"Owen, that's ridiculous. You know we broke up."

"Yeah, and for no reason that I find legitimate. You're lonely. He loves you. And, despite what you say, I know you love him. You're just burying those feelings because of everything else going on in your life. You can't be scared anymore, Leesh. Just go for it."

"Goodnight, Owen."

"Whatever you say. Goodnight Leesh. Merry Christmas."

The call had done anything but calm her. She couldn't help but think that Owen was right. Even though she had ended things with will almost a month ago, she still thought about him constantly. And, admittedly, she wasn't happy either. She really did miss him. And what had he said about love? Could that be true too? If she set aside her guilt at not spending more time with Zach and Grace and the fact that she was married, perhaps that feeling did exist. Perhaps that feeling of butterflies in her stomach whenever she saw Will at work, whenever she heard his voice, or met his eyes, was, in fact, love.

She debating calling him. Or maybe texting him? No, it was too late. It was a holiday. He was probably sleeping or with his family. And besides, she wasn't even sure if this was the right thing to do. Physically and emotionally exhausted, she collapsed into her bed and fell asleep before she could think another thought about Will.

Surrounded by his family on Christmas Eve, Will was surprised that he could still not pull his thoughts away from Alicia. What was wrong with him? It had been almost a month, yet he was still as upset as the day it had happened. He had every reason to be happy tonight. Peter had abandoned the investigation of him and Lockhart Gardner. It was Christmas. He had a whole week to be off from work. He was slightly drunk and in the company of his family. Yet he knew this wasn't enough to make him happy anymore. He missed Alicia like crazy and he couldn't distract himself. Every few minutes his thoughts would wander back to her. He debated calling her. Or maybe just sending her a quick text message. There was nothing wrong with wishing your employees a Merry Christmas, was there? But he didn't do it, because, as much as he wanted to talk to her, he knew she didn't want to talk to him. She couldn't make room for him in her life and he needed to accept that and move on. Except he had already accepted that he could never move on. He sighed, and grabbed another beer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this took so long to update! I just haven't had any time to write more chapters and I had trouble deciding where I wanted to go with this. This one's short but there's more coming!**

Alicia woke up early on Christmas morning. In a haze, she rolled over and enjoyed a few seconds of calm before the thoughts of last night forced themselves upon her. The emotional conflict was enough to make her sick to her stomach. Suddenly, she realized that was more literal than she thought. She jumped out of bed and bolted for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before throwing up. Great, she thought, Christmas alone and I'm sick. This day couldn't get any better.

"Mom, uh… are you okay?" she heard Grace ask from the bedroom.

"Yeah... yes, I'm fine, don't worry. I guess I caught a stomach virus or something."

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay here, by yourself? You should come with us to Dad's or something."

"Honestly, Grace, that wouldn't be such a great idea. But really, I'm okay, I already feel better." Alicia found that she wasn't even lying, she already felt better. Fine, actually. It was probably just from the wine last night.

"Come on, honey. Let's go check out our presents!"

Christmas without Peter was a strange affair. Alicia in no way wished she was still with Peter, but she couldn't help missing him at times like these. She half expected him to come into the room with the video camera and then surprise her with a gift of extravagant jewelry. But instead, Alicia and her children had a quiet Christmas morning. No one commented on the noticeable difference that Peter's absence made.

After sending Zach and Grace off to their father's, Alicia wondered what she was going to do for the day. What do people do when they spend Christmas alone? Her thoughts turned to Will, as they often did when she felt lonely. She wondered if how he was spending his Christmas. Was some other woman keeping him company? She didn't know if it was the thought of Will with another woman or just the fact that she felt so alone, but she broke down and started to cry.

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Will woke alone on Christmas morning. He stood by the window of his apartment, drinking his morning coffee and watching a light snow fall on Chicago. Christmas never seemed that important to him anymore. It always made him think about the sacrifices he made to get to the top of his career. Most men his age would be spending Christmas with their families, buying their wives expensive gifts and smiling as their children discovered the toys Santa had left for them. For a moment, he allowed himself to fantasize that he was married to Alicia. He imagined them awakening on Christmas morning to their small children jumping on their bed. He saw his son's excitement as he got a new baseball glove. He saw his daughter, with dark hair and pale skin, just like Alicia. He imagined himself and Alicia snuggling on the couch and drinking hot chocolate. And for a moment, he was completely happy.


	4. Chapter 4

Alicia stepped off the elevator the next day, reading to immerse herself in her work so she wouldn't have to think about her problems. The free time on Christmas had given her too much time to think about things. She didn't like the emotional wreck she became. She passed Will's office, caught his eye, and gave him a nice smile and a small wave. It killed her to be so distant with him, but she didn't see how things could be different.

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As part of her resolution to repair things with Kalinda, the pair headed out of the office to grab lunch that day. Kalinda picked a Mexican restaurant close to the firm.

"So how was your Christmas?" Kalinda asked.

"Good. Well, kind of. It was weird not having Peter there. And then having the kids be gone for most of the day. It just didn't really feel like Christmas. But, oh well. How was yours?"

"Good."

Alicia smirked. Did she really think Kalinda would ever reveal something about her life outside of work?

The waitress arrived with their trays. As soon as the scent of Mexican food hit Alicia's nose, her stomach turned over.

"Excuse me," she exclaimed and bolted for the bathroom.

A few minutes later, she reappeared and took her seat, pushing the unappealing food towards the other end of the table.

"I don't think I can eat that."

"Are you okay?" Kalinda asked, clearly concerned.

"Yeah, I think I have a stomach virus or something. I was sick yesterday too."

"You seemed fine this morning."

"Yeah, I did feel fine. I really don't feel that sick now either. It isn't anything serious."

"That's not really the way stomach viruses work." Kalinda said, "Are you sure it's not something else?"

"What do you mean, something else?"

"I'm just saying, its weird. You get sick, then feel fine and then it happens again the next day. Alicia, there's now way you could be, you know… pregnant?"

Alicia let out a laugh. "No, Kalinda. I'm not pregnant. You have to actually have sex to get pregnant. And I don't even live with my husband let alone have sex with him."

"I wasn't thinking about your husband," Kalinda said, matter-of-factly.

"What, Will? No, we ended things over a month ago. You knew that."

"So?"

"Kalinda, that's insane. I'm in my forties."

"Insane, but not impossible. When was your last period?"

All of a sudden, Alicia froze. When was her last period? She had been so caught up in her break-up and her family problems that she hadn't really been paying attention. It had crossed her mind once, but she blamed it on stress from her family and work. But no, she couldn't be… pregnant? She was too old. They were careful. Her hand instinctively went to her stomach, as if she could feel something there. She looked up into Kalinda's concerned eyes.

"Too long ago," she said.

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"Oh no, oh _no."_

Alicia stood in her bathroom, with a little blue plus sign staring her in the face_. _

She hadn't been able to concentrate on anything the rest of the day, so she left the office early and stopped at the pharmacy for a home pregnancy test. And now, she was facing the reality that she was, at her age, pregnant with the child of a man other than her husband. She slumped against the wall and slid to the floor.

"Oh no."

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"Oh, yes, Mrs. Florrick" her doctor exclaimed, "The results came back positive. You're definitely pregnant."

It was a few days later and Alicia sat in her obstetrician's office, hardly believing that this was all happening to her.

"Shall we take a look?"

"Um, sure." Alicia sat back in her chair and rolled up her sweater as the doctor began the ultrasound. She couldn't believe she was back here again. The last time she did this was _fourteen _years ago.

"And there it is," the doctor said, pointing to a small speck on the screen. "Just around six weeks, I'd say."

_Six weeks? _She couldn't believe that the entire time since their breakup, she'd been carrying Will's child and had no idea. She stared at the screen, in shock. There it was, in black and white. The little speck that would be her baby. _Their _baby. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at the screen. She wasn't sure if they were tears of happiness at seeing her baby for the first time, tears of sadness for the mess that this made of her life, or just worry for what was to come.


	5. Chapter 5

She knew that she had to tell him. She just didn't know when, or how. Somehow, "Oh, hey, Will. I know I broke up with you and we haven't really talked in over a month about anything except work, but we're having a baby! Congratulations!" didn't sound too great. Also, there was the tiny little fact that she was still married to another man.

"Alicia? _Alicia!" _Eli yelled. Alicia jumped. She had been staring at Will from across the office.

"Sorry, Eli, I'm just a little distracted."

"Well, focus! Look, I know you don't want to hear this, but Peter will never be governor without you."

"Eli —"

"I know, I know! I'm not asking for you to fix things with Peter. That's up to you two. All I'm asking is for a couple public appearances, maybe some with the kids. Just for show. It doesn't have to mean anything."

"I'll think about it, Eli, okay?" Alicia says, staring off at Will again. Eli follows her gaze with a quizzical look on his face.

"Is everything…alright?"

"Fine. We'll talk later."

Alicia left his office in a hurry. She really couldn't sit there and listen to another of Eli's efforts to reunite her and Peter. Really, he had _no_ idea how impossible that was now.

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Will had noticed that Alicia had been acting differently towards him recently. Granted, things had been awkward since their break up, but now this was different. He would catch her staring at him from across the office. Whenever they talked, she would get flustered and seem uncomfortable. He assumed maybe something was happening with Peter. Had he been asking her about her relationship with him? No matter what, it wasn't his place to ask questions.

"Hey, can I come in?"

Will looked up, startled. He was working late and had assumed he was the last one at the office. He was even more surprised to find Alicia standing in the doorway. She was the last person he expected to come see him.

"Alicia….hey. Sure, uh, yeah, come in."

She timidly walked into the office and sat next to him on the couch. The arrangement seemed awkward. They had once been so comfortable around each other and now the foot of space between them was filled with unspoken feelings and awkwardness.

"We…have to talk," Alicia began, and then fell silent, looking down at her knees.

Will waited, but she didn't go on. "Okay… about what?" He was trying to not get his hopes up. After all, if she were going to tell him she missed him, she wouldn't look this upset, right?

After another long pause, she took a deep breath, "Do you, I mean, do you think that our time together was a mistake?" She looked up, her eyes filled with worry and nervousness.

"No," he answered quickly, "No, not at all, Alicia. Not even the tiniest bit. I cherish every moment we had together."

She smiled slightly, but didn't say anything. _Tell her_, Will thought. _This might be your only chance._ "Alicia, I don't think you understood how much I cared about you. It seemed like you didn't want a serious relationship, so I didn't push for one. But, Alicia, I cared about you. I _care _about you, in a way I never could care for someone else. And I wish things hadn't ended between us the way they did."

"I care about you too, Will. I really do. I just let so many other things get in the way. I mean, there's my kids, and then Peter, and then work. I know I was distant sometimes, but I really do care about you, and I've missed you terribly."

Will couldn't believe his ears. "You have no idea how great that is to hear, Alicia. But… why are you telling me this. I'm sorry, but why now?"

She's silent for a while again. Finally, she quietly says, "Because… because I want you to know that that's really how I feel. That nothing else influenced those feelings and… and… that I'm saying it because its true and not because I feel like I have to."

"Alicia, I'm lost. I'm sorry, but what are you talking about?"

She takes a deep breath and brings her gaze up to meet his. "Will… I'm pregnant."


	6. Chapter 6

For Will, it was like time had suddenly frozen. He was ambushed with so many different emotions at once that he wasn't sure how to sort them out. There was the initial burst of happiness. He saw a vision of himself having a baseball catch with a little dark haired boy. He saw the possibility to have the family he thought he gave up to become partner. Could he really have it all?

And then the bad feelings came. What did this mean for him and Alicia? Would they get back together? Would they just try to be civil? As he was pondering this, the worst thought of all came to him. _Oh God_, he thought. Is she even going to keep the baby? After all, she's in her forties. It wasn't exactly and ideal time to have a baby. And then there was the situation with Peter. She really wasn't in a position to have a baby. Shit, she really wasn't in a position to have a baby.

Then Will realized that he had been silent for way too long. Alicia was staring at him with a million different emotions in her eyes: fear, uncertainty, possibly hope?

"Wow…you're…you're sure?"

"Yes, positive. I went to the doctor's a few days ago. I'm about six weeks along."

Will had no idea what to say. He wished he knew what she was thinking, how she felt about all this, so he knew how to respond right now. He stared into her eyes for a while and she stared back, nervous and waiting. Suddenly, he couldn't help it. She was just so _beautiful _and they had made a baby together. A grin spread slowly across his face. She timidly half-smiled back and gave a nervous laugh. Will pulled her into his arms and held her close. For a while, the two just sat there, holding each other. He kissed the top of her head, breathing in her scent. God, he had missed her.

"So…how are you feeling…about all this?" he asks timidly.

She's silent for a while, her face buried against his chest. Finally, she looks up at him.

"I…don't know. Scared, mostly. I mean, we can't pretend that this situation is exactly ideal. We're both in our forties…and I'm _married_. And I have Zach and Grace, who knows what they'll think of me. And the press is going to go crazy over this. And it will ruin Peter's campaign. Not to mention that Eli is going to actually murder me." She catches his eye and half laughs at her insanely long list of obstacles. "But then… I don't know. At other times, I feel… happy. Because…because, despite everything I just said… we made a baby, Will. A little baby that doesn't know anything about all this nonsense. And I can't help but feel… in spite of it all… a little happy."

Will beams down at her in total disbelief. "Really? So you're definitely keeping it…?"

"Wha—" she's clearly shocked. "Will, did you really think that I would—I mean, I know this is scary and really…just—"

"Bad timing?"

She laughs. God he missed that laugh. "Yes, bad timing. It always is with us, isn't it? But, Will, I could never. I just could never do that." She suddenly looks down, upset. "Not long after I got my first job out of Georgetown, I got pregnant with Zach. Peter and I didn't expect it and we thought about, you know, doing _that. _That way we could take time to settle into our new life and start a family when it was more convenient. And then, when I was finally ready to go back to work after Zach was born, I found out I was pregnant again. I never told anyone this, Will, but… I almost didn't even tell Peter about it. I almost just…took care of it so I could get back to work. I gave up everything for my children and my family. And I wouldn't change any of it for the world. Zach and Grace are the two best things that have ever happened to me, even though I didn't expect them. And when I think about how close I came to…" Alicia's voice broke and she brought her hands to her face to hide her sob. "I just can't bring myself to do that to this baby when I know I'll love it just as much as I love my other children. But, if that's what you want, I'm not going to force you to be in the baby's life. I just—"

"No, no, no! Licia, no!" He grabs hold of her chin and tilts her head up and looks her in the eye, because this is going to be the most important thing he ever says to her.

"Alicia, I would never, ever want you to do that. I don't think you understand just how happy I felt when you first told me about this. The first moment I knew our baby existed. And despite all the obstacles we have to overcome, it's all going to be worth it. Because in a few months, we'll have our precious little baby. That's all that matters, Licia. That and the fact that I love you. I've always loved you. It's always been you. And ever since we split up, I haven't been able to think of anything else but you. I love you, Alicia, more than you'll ever know.

Alicia, who had been listening to Will's speech with a growing smile, suddenly withdrew from him when he mentioned that word. The "L" word. The word that always caused her to turn and run. Suddenly, it was as if everything was hitting her at once, crashing down on her, suffocating her. Her head was full of jumbled thoughts. The baby. Will. He loves me. Peter. My marriage. Will. Did he just say he loved me? Will's baby. Zach. Grace. The press. Love? A new baby. A new family. It felt like the room was spinning

"Will, I…I just…" she took a deep, shuddering breath and something in her disposition changed, "Maybe this is enough to deal with right now. We should just focus on this pregnancy and how we're going to deal with the repercussions of it."

Will sighed, seeing that Alicia had retreated behind her lawyer-like poker face. "Okay, yeah, you're right. We'll handle this."

"Yes, we will," she smiled at him, but the smile didn't seem to reach her eyes. "We'll figure this out and it will all be good. I think I'm going to get going. I'm kind of tired. And this way we can both sleep on it and talk about it later, okay?"

"Okay, Alicia," Will said. He embraced her one more time. "Everything's going to be fine," he whispered in her ear.

Alicia gave him another smile before gathering her stuff and leaving the office.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry this update took so long. I had a lot of trouble figuring out where I wanted to go with this and finally got it right around the fifth re-write. Hope you all agree!**

After she left, Will collapsed in his chair, exhausted from the marathon of emotions he had just been subjected to. He had thought, just briefly, just for a small second, he had allowed himself to hope that they could be together, perfectly happy. Well, _how foolish are you_, he thought to himself. Couldn't he ever learn from the past? Why did he always push his luck? It seemed like the fates were determined to keep him and Alicia apart. If a baby couldn't bring them together, then maybe there was no hope left.

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Alicia was hurrying down to her car, panicking and trying to get home as fast as she could, where she could curl up in bed and try to forget the mess her life had become. On her way home, she started to think. _What was she doing? _ Will had just sat there and told he that he was on board. He wanted their baby. He wanted their family. He _loved _her. He didn't want to hurt her. Why did she always run from him?

But, at the same time, why couldn't he understand? Why couldn't he look at the bigger picture? They had so much to deal with and all he could think of was their relationship. She just couldn't see how they could focus on the two of them when they needed to deal with the unexpected third party that was now a key factor in their lives. How could he expect her to put his feelings first when she had to deal with her kids, her husband, and the press as well?

The questions repeated in her head, an endless cycle of worries with no foreseeable solution. Finally, she gave up and called the one person she could think of to talk to.

"Hey, Kalinda. Are you busy?"

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Will stared at the bottle of scotch in front of him. He had decided that if he was going to drink himself into oblivion, he might as well do it at his apartment and not his office. Now that he was home, he was thinking that this was one time where, as much as he might want alcohol, he needed to think straight.

He was still having trouble wrapping his mind around the events that had just changed his life irrevocably over the course of an hour. He knew Alicia was pregnant. With his baby. But somehow, the fact that he was going to be a father hadn't hit him yet. He kept saying it to himself in his head over and over. _I'm going to be a dad. I'm going to have a baby…with Alicia. Alicia and I are going to raise a child. _And no matter how he phrased it, it was still probably the scariest thing that had ever happened to him.

He tried to imagine himself as a father. Would he even make a good father? Sure, he used to think about that, back when he was in his early thirties and still hadn't completely given up on having a family. But now? In his forties? He thought about his awkward encounter with Zach at the office and cringed. He would totally be an awkward and uncool dad.

Okay, he thought, but all teenagers think their parents are awkward. Besides, he was getting ahead of himself. What about all the years before that? He didn't know how to take care of a baby or a child. And it only made him feel insecure that Alicia was probably a pro at it. _Yup, _he thought, _its official. I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm probably screwed. _

And with that, he poured himself a glass. Just one glass should be fine.

Drinking the scotch, he thought about his proclamation of love he had made to Alicia. _Why the hell did he have to do that? _She seemed to be opening up to him, letting him back in. Then, he went and ruined it. He knew how complicated her life was. Why couldn't he just leave her be and stop pushing her? _That's it, _he decided. _I'm done forcing her into something she doesn't want to be a part of. _And with that, he decided that from then on, he would be exactly what Alicia wanted him to be and nothing more. If she just wanted a friend, he would be the best damn friend she could find. And if she ever wanted more, he would be there waiting for her. It shouldn't be too hard. He'd been waiting ever since Georgetown.

And with that, he gave up and grabbed the bottle of scotch, silently toasting to him and Alicia, and whatever was in store for them.

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"What's up?" Kalinda said, sitting down next to Alicia at the bar. She ordered a shot of tequila from the bartender. "Not exactly the place I'd expect to find someone in your condition."

"Very funny, Kalinda," Alicia said, but she flashed her reconciled friend a smile. "You know I'm not drinking," she said, indicating the glass of water in front of her. "I just realized we never really hang out anywhere else."

"Maybe we do have a problem. Grace might be right about your drinking habits after all," Kalinda joked.

"Well she's going to have a better reason to be unhappy with me soon enough."

"You're going to tell them?" Kalinda asked.

"Well, I'll have to eventually, won't I? Or maybe I could just hide it from them forever. They won't ask about the random child growing up in their house, right?"

Kalinda gave Alicia an inquisitive look.

Alicia sighed. "I've just had an incredibly stressful evening, okay?"

"You told Will, didn't you?"

Alicia nodded.

"And…?"

"And….I don't know. I thought it was going well. He seemed, I think, he seemed happy and even a little excited about it. But, I'm not sure. That could all have been a show just so I didn't feel bad. He was probably freaking out on the inside. Well, so am I."

"What do you mean, you _thought _it was going well? He _seemed _happy? Did something happen after you told him?"

"Yeah, he….told me he loved me."

"How rude of him," Kalinda stated sarcastically.

"Look, that's just the thing I don't need right now. There's so much other stuff that we have to deal with."

"Well, what do you want from him then?"

"I want…I don't know what I want. I'm not sure of anything right now. I guess, I just want him to be there for this baby."

"Maybe that's what he's trying to do."

Alicia didn't answer. She just sighed and put her face in her hands. Finally, she looked up. "I really screwed it up. I just left after he told me he loved me. Now things are going to be so awkward."

"Things are only awkward if you make them awkward. Look, Alicia. I can tell you care about Will. I'm not going to try and define the feelings you have for him, but they are there. Don't!" Kalinda said as Alicia opened her mouth to speak. "Look, Will's a nice guy. He'll understand what you're feeling. Just don't shut him out, okay?"

"Yeah, you're right," Alicia conceded. "Thanks, Kalinda," she said with a smile.

"What else are friends for?" said Kalinda, returning the smile. With that, she picked up her shot of tequila. "Guess I'll be doing these alone for a while."


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm so sorry it's been forever since I've last updated. But I'm not abandoning this story, I promise! I've just been busy. This is just a short chapter but there's more to come.**_  
_

_Alicia woke to the sound of a loud cry. Sighing, she glanced over at the clock. 4:30 am. Alicia groaned and rolled over, only to see that the other side of the bed was empty. She was alone. She groaned and got up, following the sounds of the crying down the hall and feeling like she hadn't slept in days. She reached the source of the earsplitting sound and reached down to pick up her distressed baby. _

_"Shhh….shhhh…Mommy's here, it's okay," she cooed. Suddenly, her phone rang. The name flashed across the screen: Diane. Alicia struggled to bring the phone to her ear as she held the fussing infant._

"_Hello? Diane?"_

"_Alicia, hello. I'm sorry for calling at such a crazy hour, but it's an emergency. One of our major clients has just been arrested for murder and we need all hands on deck. We need you here as soon as possible."_

_Alicia glanced at the baby in her arms. Seriously, this is happening right now? _

"_Uh, sure, Diane. No problem. I'll be there soon."_

_Alicia hung up the phone and tried to soothe her baby, but the cries only became louder and more intense. Alicia glanced helplessly around the room, alone with no one to help her. _

A loud beeping pulled Alicia back to consciousness. She gasped, sitting suddenly upright, the terror of her dream sticking with her in the first few moments of waking before clarity set in. She sighed and fell back against the pillow as she realized it was not real. _It's fine, _she thought_. I'm fine. It was just a dream. _Then, with a sinking feeling, she realized that that very dream could be in her future. There would be a baby. There would be work. It was going to be tough to balance. But she wouldn't be alone…right?

She tried to push those unwanted thoughts from her mind as she climbed out of bed. Like clockwork, her stomach summarily turned over and sent her bolting for the toilet. With Zach and Grace, she had been sick almost every morning of her first trimester, as well as anytime she ate or even smelled a whiff of seafood. It seemed that things would go the same way with this pregnancy. How fantastic.

Alicia finished getting ready for work and went out to make breakfast for Zach and Grace. Maybe she was feeling guilty, but she decided to make them a big breakfast and prepared eggs, bacon, and french toast.

Zach, like any other teenage boy, was drawn to the kitchen by the scent of food.

"Wow, mom!" he exclaimed, "What's all this for?"

"Oh, so a mother needs as excuse to cook her two wonderful children a nice breakfast now?"

Zach looked warily at his mother. "Is everything okay? Did something happen with Dad?"

"What? No… Zach everything's fine. Just enjoy your breakfast."

Soon, Grace joined them and the three sat down to enjoy their meal.

Alicia looked at her two children and was struck with a pang of guilt. How would she ever be able to tell them? What would they think of her? There was no way they would ever be okay with this. It just wasn't fair for her to make her children have to deal with yet another of their parents' mistakes.

Except they weren't her only children anymore, Alicia thought with a start. She had three children now. She was here, enjoying breakfast with all her children, two by Peter Florrick and one by Will Gardner. Who would have ever thought something as crazy as that could happen?

"Mom, are you okay?" Grace asked.

Alicia realized she had been zoned out, staring off into the distance with her hand resting gently on her stomach. Realizing this, she quickly picked up her fork.

"Of course, honey. Just concerned about a case that's all," she said, smiling reassuringly at her middle child. "Nothing to worry about."


	9. Chapter 9

Alicia stepped off the elevator at work, ready to face the day and any challenges it might bring. She was resolved to smooth things over with Will. For the sake of both her work and the baby, it was necessary to ensure that there would be no awkwardness between them. Alicia had heard the wisdom behind Kalinda's advice and was determined to follow it.

She walked briskly down the hallways to Will's office, hoping her confident stride would disguise the inner turmoil. Seeing that he was alone inside, she peeked her head in and lightly knocked.

Will looked up from the files he had been skimming through and Alicia saw him tense up ever so slightly. He had no idea what to expect from her.

"Hi," she smiled at him.

He seemed to relax, if only slightly. "Hi," he answered. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Will, look, about last night—"

He started to interject, but Alicia would not let him.

"No, Will. Really, I need to—"

This time it was not Will who interrupted, but David Lee, tapping on the glass outside Will's office. He beckoned hastily to Alicia, pointing at his watch to indicate that they were late for a meeting with their latest divorce client.

Alicia sighed and Will smirked. "We'll never be able to talk here. What do you say we get dinner after work sometime this week?" Will asked. "Sometime when we're less busy."

"I think that sounds great, Will," and with another pounding on the glass, she hurried out of the office.

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For the next couple of days, Alicia was swamped with work. She found herself working late most nights and, since Will was on a separate case, she had virtually no time to talk to him. She knew she needed begin to deal with everything, but she wanted to sort it all out with Will first, both to be fair to him and also because, if she was being honest, she was scared. This was the hardest fact for Alicia to face. The Alicia that stood in the face of her husband's scandal, who put on a brave face for the press and hid her emotions somewhere deep inside. The woman who went back to work and made something of herself against all odds. And now she was faced with a whole new kind of problem. She couldn't hide her feelings and hope everything would go back to normal in time. She couldn't hope that she would grow used to the changes in her life. Because the changes happening in her life now were bigger than Peter's cheating. They were bigger than one-night stands or political corruption. These changes were going to uproot her life entirely. And she was terrified.

So, she bided her time. She put all her energy into her work, which she found hard to do as she seemed to tire more easily now. She avoided Eli as much as she could, still acting as his liaison but making sure she was never available to discuss Peter's gubernatorial campaign. She told herself that she wouldn't do anything, tell anyone, or take any action until she and Will had their talk.

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It had been a week since Alicia had dropped the bombshell that would change his life forever. Just one week, but it felt like ages. She was so busy with her current case that Will never had time to speak with her. He only caught occasional glimpses of her through the walls of his office. He watched her as she hurried through the halls, rushing to make it to court on time. He loved to watch her work. Maybe it was because she was only three years into her job or maybe it was because she was the most amazing woman he's ever met, but she was always so passionate about what she did. She put tremendous effort into every case, managed to relate to and comfort every client, and she also could be decently intimidating when she wanted to be. Sure, Will thought, she could be a little too idealistic, but he loved that about her. He loved that she was a good person, who strove to do the right thing and struggled when that didn't coincide with her client's interests.

And on top of all that, he thought, she's a great mother. Well, he didn't know that for a fact, since he never really met her children, but he knew she was a great mother. She was great at everything she did.

At that moment, Alicia turned out of her office and hurried past his. For a second, their eyes met and she flashed him an apologetic smile that seemed to say, _Sorry, I'm too busy right now. _Will knew that look well. He and Alicia had been giving that look to each other all week. "It's okay," he mouthed back. His gaze followed her down the hall to the elevator. He couldn't help it. No matter how they defined their relationship, he would always be attracted to her. Looking at her thin physique, he couldn't believe there was a baby growing inside of her. He knew absolutely nothing about pregnancy. When would she start to show? When would they have to start telling people? He sigh, realizing that he really, really needed to talk to her. They needed to make a plan.

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Towards the end of the next week, Will ran into Alicia as he entered the courthouse. _Literally, _he ran into her. He had been rushing to make it to court on time while checking his phone, not looking where he was walking. She stumbled backwards as he grabbed hold of her to steady her. Instinctively, she clung right back.

"I'm so sorry, Alicia, I wasn't looking. I'm sorry," Will rapidly spat out a thousand apologies.

Alicia smiled and let out a little laugh, "Will, it's fine. Really!"

"Are you sure, are you sure you're okay?"

"Will," she said, still smiling but wanting to reassure him. "I'm sure. I'm not going to break or anything, I promise."

Will pretended to laugh but also let out the breath he had been holding. She seemed to realize she was still in his arms, and hastily took a step back. Will was gripped by a sudden urge to take her in his arms again. He realized it had been a long time since he last held her.

"So…" she began, "you're headed in?"

"Yeah, just for closing arguments though. What about you, how's the Kent case going?"

"Just ended… jury found him not guilty!"

"What? I didn't expect that at all," Will exclaimed. He had been sure that their client was guilty.

"Me either, actually. I didn't have a good feeling about it, but we argued it well."

"Well, good job, Alicia. Sounds like you need to celebrate. How about we grab dinner tonight? Your case is done and I'm just left with the closing arguments. We'll finally be able to talk…about everything," he finished hesitantly.

"I'd like that a lot," she said, smiling at him.

"Alright, well I've got to run or I'll be late. Tonight at seven!" Will said before taking off into the building.

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Alicia was left standing outside the courthouse. She slowly began walking towards her car, her head spinning from the encounter with Will. She hadn't entirely been prepared for the onslaught of feelings that overcame her when she had been in Will's arms. Sure, he had only caught her when she stumbled, but his touch had felt like it sent a jolt of electricity through her. She had had an urge to stay in his arms and never let go. She tried to push those feelings away. _Why was she acting like this? _It wasn't like her to get swept away by her feelings. She needed to be rational, especially now. She turned her thoughts towards their impending dinner. She was nervous, very nervous. But she was also excited. Was it excitement to figure things out or just to spent time with Will? Either way, she knew this would be an interesting night.


	10. Chapter 10

Alicia glanced at the clock. _6:50_. She turned to look at herself in the mirror again. She turned side to side, looking at herself in her little black dress from all angles. It hugged her perfectly in all the right places and her still-slim physique showed no signs of a baby bump. She kept telling herself to stop worrying about how she looked, but she couldn't. _Maybe this is too much, _she thought as she headed back to her closet to change for the third time. However, the sound of the doorbell stopped her in her tracks. She had been so focused on her wardrobe that she had actually managed to forget to worry about the impending dinner for a few moments. Now, the nervousness hit her in the stomach like a ton of bricks.

She quickly checked her hair and makeup in the mirror, slipped into a pair of high heels, and headed to answer the door. She paused with her hand on the handle, took a deep breath, and swung open the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Will was still waiting for the day when the sight of her didn't take his breath away. It definitely was not tonight. He looked at her in her tight, black dress, which showed off her body quite nicely. He took in her loosely curled hair and her daringly tall heels. And finally, he rested his eyes upon her beautiful face.

"Hi," he said.

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Will had picked a small, quiet restaurant on the outskirts of Chicago. He thought it was best to find a place that was out of the way, where they could talk without worrying who was around them. The ride there began somewhat awkwardly, but was soon filled with lighthearted small talk. He told her about his closing arguments and she shared with him some details about the case that had kept her so busy. They soon fell into easy conversation, something they had always been able to do. By the time they arrived at the restaurant, they were joking and laughing and feeling much at ease in each other's company.

It was when they were finally seated that the awkwardness really set in. They both knew there were big issues to discuss, yet neither one knew how to begin. Or maybe neither one wanted to ruin the good time they had been having by talking about their stressful situation.

"So…" Will started.

"So…" Alicia began, "I think we really need to start figuring this out. We've been avoiding it for almost two weeks now and we can't keep pretending that this isn't happening. Because it is, whether we like it or not."

"We haven't been ignoring it. We've just…been busy. But we're here now, so let's talk."

"I've been thinking about it a lot. _A lot."_ She added, for emphasis. She wondered if that accurately conveyed the fact that she thought about it in every second of her free time. "And I think that there's certain things that have to be done. I think, first, I need to divorce Peter. Well, I don't think, I know. I can't be married to him when I'm having someone else's baby." She stopped when she saw the hurt look on his face. "No, Will. I didn't mean it—"

"It's fine, Alicia," he interrupted her. "It sounds bad, yes, but that's what it is."

"I don't want you to think that I think this is a bad thing. It's just a bad thing that this has happened when I'm married"

"I get it, don't worry. Go on."

"Okay, well… yes, I'm going to file for divorce. And that means I'll have to talk to Peter first, and then Zach and Grace, and Eli at some point…" she buried her face in her hands, overwhelmed. "Ugh, I'm sorry. I promised myself I wouldn't lose it."

"Alicia, no. Don't feel like you have to be strong. I'm here to help you. Anything you need, I'm here. Look, I'm really sorry about all that you have to go through. But, yes, you do have to deal with your family first and I don't want to impose."

"I know, I know. I have to do this. I'm going to tell Peter. And then I'm going to tell Zach and Grace. And by that time, I'm sure the press will be all over the divorce story. But Will, I don't want to tell anyone I'm pregnant until I'm in my second trimester. With my age, there's a high change that I could miscarry in the first three months and I just want to make sure that this baby is a sure thing before we tell anyone. Are you okay with that?"

Will was shocked. He had been worried in the beginning that Alicia might get an abortion, but he hadn't even thought about the fact that she might lose the baby. _God, why was he so bad with this stuff?_

"Yes, definitely, if that's what you think is best, then I'm on board." He hesitated for a moment before saying, "Look Alicia, I'm going to be honest here. I really don't know that much, or anything for that matter, about babies and pregnancy and all that stuff. And frankly, it's freaking me out. You're telling me there's a good chance you might lose the baby?"

Alicia flashed him an apologetic look, "I'm so sorry Will. I know this is all new to you, I'm sorry. Yes, the doctor said that with my advanced maternal age there's a higher risk for miscarriage and birth defects. I know, it scares me out of my mind too. But if I take it easy and try to not stress and make it through the first trimester, then I'll most likely be able to carry the baby to term. And there's also tests they can do before the baby's born to make sure it's healthy."

Now Will's head was spinning. This was a lot to take in. There was much more to worry about than he first thought. And she clearly had more time to think this all over than he did. "Okay, okay… So, you need to take it easy then. You have to cut back at work. I don't want you working long hours and being stressed out if it's a hazard to the baby."

"Will, I can't really do that when I'm not telling anyone that I'm pregnant, now can I? Look, I won't work long hours, I promise. And I won't stress too much about my cases. It'll be okay."

Will wasn't sure what to think. Alicia had done this before, right? So surely she knew what she was talking about. But all this talk about losing the baby had him worried. He knew he would never be able to stop her from working, but he made a mental note to try to lighten her workload and help her out around the office.

"Okay, yeah, you know what's best for you, I guess. So this second trimester would be…?"

"In a month. I'm eight weeks along now, so another month until the first trimester is over."

"And that's when we tell Diane?"

"That's when we tell everyone, ready or not. I'll start showing sometime in the third month."

Will felt like he should have brought a pen and paper. He was feeling overwhelmed. A month. He couldn't help but think that this second trimester was some kind of benchmark. Once they got there, the baby would be safer. But, once they got there, it would be real. They would tell people. They would be in the news. And just six months from that point, they would have a baby, and actual human being to take care of.

His worry must have shown on his face.

"Will…?" Alicia asked timidly.

"Wha—I'm sorry. It's just a lot to take in. I'm sorry. I know you have it so much worse than me, but I can't help but freak out."

Alicia instinctively reached across the table and rested her hand on his. "Will, no, no, no. You have every right to freak out. We both do. I completely understand that all of this is new to you, but this is why we're here. We're going to help each other and we're going to work everything out and everything will be fine."

Will took her hand in hers, never wanting to let go. For a while he just stayed like that, holding onto her like a lifeline, staring into her eyes. She stared right back, enjoying the moment.

"And what about us?" Will asked, "Where does that leave us?"


	11. Chapter 11

**I know I haven't updated this in forever, but I'm back and I'm ready to continue! Hope you like the newest chapter! Let me know how you feel about it!**

Alicia stared back at Will, enjoying the feeling of his hand on hers, sending jolts of electricity into her. For a second she didn't think about anything. She was just content.

"And what about us?" Will asked, "Where does that leave us?"

The question took a few seconds to sink in, and even longer to process. _Where did it leave them? _What do you call two people who, after breaking up, discovered that they were having a baby? Two people with clear feelings for each other, even if those feelings might be unequal.

"I think…" Alicia began hesitantly, "I think this leaves us as two people with a lot to deal with. Two people who are going to be needing each other to lean on." Alicia paused. Maybe it was time to try to open up as best as she could instead of withdrawing as she was prone to do.

"I feel like I need you to get through this, Will. I can't do it alone. I don't want to do it alone. I've been trying to continue my family alone ever since Peter's scandal and it's been the hardest three years of my life. I can't continue it on my own with a baby in the picture. I want you to be around. I want us to help each other. I just…I'm scared, Will. I don't want to get hurt and I don't want anything to happen with us that would make our situation awkward. We can't just think about ourselves now when there's a baby in the picture."

"Alicia, I want you to know that you can trust me completely. I will never leave you to face this alone. I want to be there for you, with you, every step of the way. And I would never, ever, _ever_ hurt you. I don't know how much I can emphasize that."

"I just feel so… conflicted. Because having a baby, Will," she said, smiling every so slightly, "is one of the greatest things in the world. It really is. But, it's also a game changer. It changes _everything._ Absolutely everything. Your life is never the same. And when I had Zach and Grace, it was a big change, but I did it. I'm just worried that… I'm worried that you're set in your ways and have been for so long that… that you won't be able to change, or that you won't want to. That you'll get bored or fed up or-"

"Alicia, Alicia," he cut her off. "No. I know that I've been set in my ways for a long time. But, you want to know something about my ways? I hate them. In case you hadn't noticed, I was never happy with that life I was leading. Sure, I always had company but I was always lonely. I hated myself. I only lived for work. Everything changed when you came back into my life. And it changed for the better. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I like myself around you, Alicia. I changed when you came back into my life and I'd change anything a million times over for you. And I already love this baby as much as I love you, so I am promising you this right now, Alicia. You do not have to worry about me bailing. You have a ton of things to worry about, yes, but that isn't one of them. You do not have to worry about me not being able to handle this because I will. I will find a way, even if it's the hardest thing I ever do because I will not lose you again, Alicia. I'm here for you now, always."

Alicia tightened her grip on his hand as a timid smile broke out on her face. _He really means it,_ she thought. In a moment, she saw everything crystal clear. She had always worried about doing what was best for her family. But now, this baby was a part of her family too. And the best thing to do for it would be to give Will a chance. And why couldn't she be with Will? She _wanted _to be with Will. _Damn_, she thought. Why did she always run from him when he clearly cared so deeply for her? If she really thought about it, and set aside every other complication in her life, she was sure that truly cared for him too.

Will watched her face in anticipation, and a flood of joy washed over him when her small smile turned into one of her beaming grins that lip up her whole face.

We're going to have a baby," she says through her grin.

He smiles back, "We're going to have a baby."


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, so I thought I would have updated this further, but I never found the time to put it up! So, now it's a Christmas present for all you A/W shippers! I hope you all enjoy it! Please comment and let me know your thoughts!**_  
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_What just happened,_ Alicia thought. What had she and Will just decided? She watched him as he paid the bill, trying to read him. She thought they had decided to be together, but they didn't actually say it. They didn't really say anything about what was between the two of them. But, he felt it too, didn't he? That surge of electricity that ran through her when they touched? Surely, he had to feel something as strong as that.

They made their way out of the restaurant in a tense silence. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, just full of possibilities. Then, once they got to the car, Will stopped and took her hands in his. That familiar, wonderful current passed through her body as his skin touched hers and when she raised her eyes to meet his, her fears and inhibitions melted away. He didn't say anything, but she read the emotion in his eyes. Suddenly, Alicia felt like she was right where she was meant to be.

Will let go of her hand to brush his thumb across her cheek, still staring into her eyes.

"Alicia," he whispered. It was just her name, but it was full of longing and hope and love. It was all she needed.

She leaned in and their lips met in a long awaited and passionate kiss, slow at first and then deepening. Their past, full of hurt feelings and miscommunications, seemed to melt away in that moment of perfect timing.

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When Will opened his eyes, he was greeted with warm early morning rays of sunshine coming through the windows of his bedroom. He lay there, comfy in his warm bed for a moment before the thoughts of last night come flooding back to him. He smiled as he remembered coming home with Alicia and falling into bed with her. It was so wonderful to be with her again, right where he was meant to be.

He turned to face the woman in bed with him, still sleeping soundly. He stared at her, marveling at how beautiful she was. She looked so peaceful when she slept, not worried about work or Peter or anything else on the seemingly endless list of stressors in her life. Her lips held the slightest trace of a smile and her soft, dark hair was draped beautifully across her pale shoulders. She was wearing only her bra and panties and had pushed the sheet down during her sleep. Will watched her chest rise and fall in time with her slow breaths. He looked at her still flat stomach and tried to wrap his brain around the fact that there was a child, _his child_, growing in there. He reached out and put his hand gently and lovingly on her stomach.

Alicia stirred and her eyes fluttered open. Will watched as she got her bearings and remembered the events of last night as well. She smiled at him and brought her hands up to rest on top of his.

"Good morning," she said, sleepily.

"Good morning to you, too," Will replied, as he leaned down to kiss her. He loved the fact that he could kiss her again, that he could touch her and be with her like this again. He may have dreamt of this for the past couple of weeks, but his dreams were nothing in comparison to the real thing.

"How did you sleep?" he asked.

"Wonderfully," she replied, smiling. Then, suddenly, a look of panic overtook her face.

"Oh, no!" she explained as she spring out of bed and darted toward the bathroom.

Will was overcome with panic and he ran after her. What was wrong? He reached her as she began to throw up in the toilet. He knelt beside her and gathered up her hair, keeping it out of the way. When she seemed to calm down, he took her in her arms, gently rubbing her back.

"Alicia, are you alright? Do you need to go to the doctor or anything?" he asked, concern prevalent in his voice.

"No," she replied, half laughing. "This happens almost every morning, Will. It's normal. I'm just sorry you had to see it."

Will was shocked. She had to go through this every morning? The more he got to know about pregnancy, the more helpless he felt. He really couldn't do anything to help her.

"Alicia, I meant it when I said I'm here for you. I'm here for all of it. Now don't apologize for stuff like this."

She smiled up at him. "Thank you, Will."

"I just wish I could do something to make this all easier on you."

"Well, you could always start with breakfast," she said. "I'm starving!"

Will laughed. "Alright," he said, kissing her on the forehead. "You get cleaned up and I'll go get breakfast started. How do pancakes sound?"

"Perfect," she replied.

Will left the bathroom and Alicia rose from the floor and looked at herself in the mirror. _Ugh_, she thought, _I can't believe he saw me like this._ Her hair was a mess and her makeup was smudged from last night. She also had that wonderful post vomit taste in her mouth. She washed her face in the sink and rinsed her mouth with mouthwash, as she didn't have her toothbrush. She found his comb and managed to pull it through her tangled hair. Conceding that this was as good as it could get, she made her way out of the bathroom. Picking up Will's shirt from the floor and pulling it on, she followed the delicious scent of pancakes into the kitchen.

"Smells delicious," she said, as Will handed her a plate of pancakes. "Who knew you could cook!" She thought about their time at Georgetown. She was the only one who ever cooked during their late night study sessions. If he ever brought her food, it was always takeout.

"Hey, not fair! I've become quite a good cook. I mean, with living on my own for so long, I had to stop eating takeout at some point."

"When was that," she teased, "last week?"

"Actually I think it was more like a couple of days ago. But, hey, you have to start somewhere."

The two enjoyed their breakfast, falling yet again into their easy flow of conversation.

As Will was clearing the plates, he said, "So, what do we do with a whole Saturday with no work to worry about?"

"Actually, Will…" Alicia began hesitantly, "Peter's dropping the kids off this afternoon, so I should be home."

"Oh. Right. I'm sorry, that's fine." _Great,_ Will thought. How could be so stupid? One night and he thinks she's his one hundred percent of the time. Although, he thought, he was going to be a bigger part of her life now. _Hey, you have to start somewhere._ "Do you, by any chance, want me to meet them?"

"Oh, well, uhm… I don't think so," she said, uncomfortably. "Look Will, it's not that I don't want you to meet them. It's just that I don't want to spring anything on them. I think we need to deal with everything step by step. Actually, I was thinking that when Peter brings the kids over, I could… talk to him."

"What are you going to tell him?"

"I'll tell him that I want a divorce," she said, definitively.

"I know, but are you going to tell him that your pregnant?"

Alicia was silent for a while. When her eyes met Will's they were full of worry.

"I have no idea."


	13. Chapter 13

Alicia left Will's apartment early. She wanted to make sure she would be home and cleaned up when Peter arrived with the kids. Despite a hot shower and a cup of tea, she still felt nauseous and she wasn't sure if it was morning sickness or nervousness. No matter how many times she went through it in her head, she had no idea what she was going to say. How would she tell her husband, the man she had spent almost her whole adult life with, that it was over, for good? Should she even tell him about the baby? Sure, that was the reason this was happening, but it didn't make any of her other reasons less true. Her marriage wasn't working out, whether this baby was in the picture or not. There were a hundred other reasons for her to divorce Peter. So she decided she wouldn't tell him that she was pregnant. The divorce would be enough drama to deal with, she could wait for the insanity that would ensue when Peter found out she was pregnant.

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Zach and Grace entered the kitchen, followed by Peter.

"Hey, mom," the kids said, in unison.

"Hi, Zack. Hi, Grace. Listen, would you two mind going to your rooms? I have to talk with your father for a second."

The kids looked briefly concerned and a confused look passed over Peter's features. Zach and Grace looked to Peter, who sent them off to their rooms with a nod of his head.

"That sounded slightly ominous," Peter said, half joking, half scared.

"Could we talk outside, please? I don't want the kids to hear."

"Uh sure," Peter responded. Now knowing that he should indeed be scared, he followed his wife out the door.

Alicia's stomach was aflutter with nerves as she led Peter out. She shut the door behind them and turned to face him. Before he could say anything, she blurted it out. "Peter, I want a divorce."

Peter seemed to go into momentary shock. This was the last thing he was expecting to hear and, for a while, he didn't know how to react. When he finally found his voice he managed to string together some words, "What? Alicia, I… Why? Why now?"

"Peter," she said, with a sigh, "This is a long time coming. I think we both have to admit that we're not going to fix our marriage and it's time to move on."

"Alicia, no. I don't want to give up on you, to give up on us. We have too much to just throw it away." He was pleading now. He didn't know what else to do.

"We tried, Peter. It's been three years and we just keep getting more distant. We're separated. We live apart. We live as though we're already divorced. We're only doing this for the kids and we need to stop kidding ourselves. It's not working."

He was desperate. He felt like he was being bombarded and it was all he could do to stay calm. She sounded so firm and resolute. How could she seem so stoic and unemotional about all this?

"Where is this coming from? I never thought I would hear this from you, with your talk about not wanting to break commitments and doing what's best for the kids. Where did all that go?"

"I think the kids will be fine, Peter. They're old enough to understand. They may not like it, but they'll understand if we talk to them about it. I didn't say that I like this but…it's time. We gave our marriage a shot and it didn't work. It's over."

Peter wasn't going to take it that easily. He brought his hand to his face, turning away from her. He turned back suddenly, coming face to face with her, his temper rising. "This isn't just about us. This is about Will, I know it is."

Alicia's first instinct is to be defensive. How could he have the gall to bring up cheating when their entire predicament was caused by his cheating? But how can she scold him for that when he was exactly right?

"It's always about him," Peter said, taking her momentary silence as affirmation. "The only reason you want to get a divorce is so you can stop feeling guilty about sleeping with him! I never stood a chance once he was back in your life!" His voice was rising to a yell as his anger grew.

"Enough, Peter!" Alicia countered, matching his volume. "How do you stand there and yell at me for something like that? The hypocrisy of it!"

"What, just because I cheated, suddenly you get a free cheat too? You forgave me! You let me back into your life and gave me a chance. How can you keep bringing this up then?"

"Just because I forgave you doesn't mean I can forget what you did to me! What you did to our family! You destroyed all my trust in you. You can't get that back. That's what this is about. The other factors don't matter. It's the fact that you messed things up, Peter. And they just won't fall into place again. And you can blame whomever you want for it. Go ahead, if it makes you feel better. Blame me. Blame Will. But at the end of the day, it's always going to come down to you, Peter. It's always you!"

Peter couldn't believe what he was hearing. Or he just didn't want to. He knew how horribly he screwed up, but he was sick of trying to make amends. Didn't she understand how sorry he was? Didn't she get how badly he wanted to fix what he did? He knew that she couldn't be asking for this divorce out of the blue. Will had to be involved. He had to be. Except he wasn't allowed to be mad about that because he had screwed up? He felt trapped and he wasn't going to calm down any time soon.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU WANT ME TO DO, ALCIA! It seems like I can't do anything right by you anymore. How can I show you how much I want to make this work? I've changed. I've tried so hard to change. For you. For the kids. For us to be a family again. I don't know what more I can do, how else I can prove my commitment to you." By the time he finished, his voice had changed from an angry yell to a plea.

Alicia looked at him, tears in her eyes. "There's nothing else you can do. I'm sorry."

Peter hung his head, dejected and broken. "Fine," he said. He looked up and into her eyes, readying himself to say something, but no words came. So he turned around and pressed the button for the elevator.

She watched him step into the elevator. She stood still, stiff as a board, until he was gone. It was only then that she broke into tears, leaning back against the wall and collapsing against it until she was on the floor. She knew she needed to divorce Peter. She knew that their marriage wouldn't work. But she couldn't help but cry at the thought of all those years with him, down the drain. So many of those years had been good ones, great ones, even. She sobbed as she thought of the good times, when Zach and Grace were little and everything seemed perfect and happy. She was so upset that she didn't even hear the sound of the elevator doors opening again.

"Alicia?" Peter's voice was soft and laced with concern. The anger of just moments before gone without a trace.

Alicia looked up, alarmed. She quickly wiped the tears from her face and stood up. "Peter, I… I'm sorry. I… What are you doing back?"

"I came back to talk to you. I couldn't leave you like that. I couldn't leave you. I'm not giving up."

"Peter, please," Alicia said, her voice cracking as new tears formed. Why was he making this so hard?

"Alicia, if you're this upset clearly you agree that our marriage isn't over. There's still feelings there. I know you're hurt, but please, don't shut me out."

"No, Peter, please, it's over. It's really over. It has to be." She choked out through the tears.

"Why? Why does it have to be?"

Alicia took a deep breath to calm herself and stop the tears. _Fine, _she thought. _I don't have any other choice._

"I'm pregnant, Peter. That's why, okay?"

She watched the shock appear on his face as he registered what she said.

"You're…what?"

"You need me to say it again?"

He was silent for a while. When he spoke, it was clear that the anger was back. "So all this talk about trust and us not working out, it's all pointless. It's because you're running off to have a family with him!"

"Yes, Peter. You caught me," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Will and I decided that, even though I was married and he is my boss, we should have a baby! That way we can just get a jump-start on everything."

Peter stared at her, furious. His face turning from pale to red to purple. Finally he turned and swung his fist around, hard, into the wall.

"How could you do this?!" he yelled.

"It's not like I planned it, Peter!"

He turned and paced away from her. He didn't speak for a while. After what seemed like an eternity, he took a deep breath, clearly trying to control his emotions.

"When I asked you for a third child, you said no way in hell. You weren't interested in having any more children."

"Peter, I told you, I didn't plan for this!"

"And with everything going on now? You're older, you have your job, you'll be in the news. All that, and you'll still have a third child…_for him._ You say you didn't plan it, but you could have had an abortion! Hell, you thought about it the first time we got pregnant. I know you're not against it! You could have avoided this fight, this divorce, all the problems that you're going to have now. But, you didn't. You wouldn't have a third child for me back when we were young and had none of these obstacles, but you'll do it now, despite everything, for him." His voice was thick with malice.

"Peter—"

"No, Alicia. That's it. I get it. There's nothing I can do! I can't compete with him. You can have you divorce. And I wish you the best of luck with your new…family."

He gave her one last look, a look of menace mixed with pain, as he stepped again into the elevator.


	14. Chapter 14

**I know I am absolutely the worst with updating, so hopefully you all haven't given up on me! I won't promise the next chapter will be soon but I will try!**

Grace Florrick opened her bedroom door slowly and peeked out, checking for signs of her brother. Seeing that his door was shut, she made her way down the hallway, following the muffled sounds of her parents' raised voices.

"This is about Will, I know it is. It's always about him. The only reason you want to get a divorce is so you can stop feeling guilty—"

"Grace!" Zach said as he grabbed her arm. "Stop eavesdropping!"

"But they're fighting! They're talking about getting a divorce! And Dad said something about mom and her boss and he sounded really angry—"

"Grace, stop. You can't eavesdrop. Go back to your room."

Grace angrily tore her arm out of her brother's grip and ran to her room. Didn't he care about their parents? Didn't he want them to be together? And what had they been talking about anyway? What was going on with her mom and Will? Were her parents really divorcing?

The questions swirled around in her head and eventually she began to cry. What would happen to her and Zach if her parents divorced? In her head she saw flashes of news reports: "Gubernatorial candidate Peter Florrick's marriage comes to an end. Wife involved with boss." Everyone in school would be talking about her again. She would have to live through the whole scandal all over again. Didn't her mother see how all this affected her? It just wasn't fair!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alicia walked wearily back into her apartment and into the kitchen. God, she could really use a glass of wine right now. She was emotionally and physically exhausted from her fight with Peter and all she could think about was the fact that that was only step one. There were still so many more obstacles to overcome. She just wanted to forget about it all for a second, but Zach and Grace would inevitably have questions about the fight. She was sure that they heard yelling; they hadn't exactly been quiet. She started to make tea in the hopes that she could have a moment of peace, but when she turned around, Grace was standing before her with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"Y-you and dad are getting a divorce?" she asked through her tears.

"Oh, Grace, honey—"

"Dad was yelling about it! He said you wanted to get a divorce."

For a moment, Alicia was struck with sheer panic. Just how much had her daughter overheard?

"Grace, I told you to stay in your room while your father and I talked!"

"I told you you shouldn't have been eavesdropping," Zach said as he joined them.

Grace chose to ignore their comments. "Why are you divorcing him? Why can't you just stay together with him? He said he was sorry!"

Alicia sighed, half exasperated and half relieved that apparently Grace hadn't heard too much.

"Grace, it's not that simple. I wish it were, believe me. Our relationship is…complicated. And it's not just about saying sorry. I will always love your father because he gave me you two, but we don't love each other in the same way anymore. We tried to make it work and it didn't. That's the best we could do. And I'm sorry—" by now she, too, was tearing up. "I'm sorry that this is so hard on you guys…" Alicia broke down in tears. She hated doing this to her children and her exhaustion along with the hormones raging in her body were making her a wreck.

Zach, always more levelheaded than his sister, embraced his mother. "It'll be okay, mom. We'll be okay."

Alicia smiled at him through her tears.

"Did you ask Dad for a divorce because you're in love with Will?"

Alicia froze.

"Dad said 'This is about Will.' What was he talking about?" Grace asked. "Why would you get a divorce because of Will?"

Alicia was at a loss for words. She wasn't prepared for this. She was going to plan out this conversation ahead of time, think about what she was going to say to them. Now, both her children were looking at her, demanding an answer. How could she hurt them? But, she couldn't lie. She would have to tell them about her and Will soon and they would only be angrier if she lied now.

"Well, uhm…your…Look, your father and I's marriage was never the same since… well since his…scandal. We tried to make it work, but it never really did. We just couldn't fix something that had been broken so badly. Your father, well, he really hurt me. And trust isn't an easy thing to get back. Our marriage hasn't truly been a real marriage since then."

"So what, you thought you could cheat on Dad because he cheated on you?!" Grace asked indignantly.

Alicia fought the urge to scold Grace for being so disrespectful. She knew how hard this was on her.

"Will and I have known each other since law school. We were very close back then and yes, I've spent a lot of time with him because we work together. And….we had a relationship."

Grace had had enough. "I can't believe you would do that!" she yelled before running to her room.

Alicia sighed and buried her face in her hands. Admitting that to her children had been one of the hardest things she had ever done.

She looked up at Zach, who had been so quiet throughout the ordeal. He was much more mature than Grace. Alicia could see the conflicting emotions on his face as he tried to process the information.

"Zach," she said, "I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to hurt you or Grace. I just love you two so much and I didn't mean for this to happen."

"We love you too, mom. It's just, really a lot to take in."

"I know, honey, I know."

He was silent for a while and then asked, timidly, "So, you and your boss, uh, Will, are you still…?"

It was an odd question to be asked by her son, but he deserved the truth, even if it was only part of the big crazy truth.

"Yes… I am… in a relationship with him. Things are…complicated, but, yes, I suppose Grace was right."

When Zach didn't answer, she continued, out of nervousness, "Zach, I'm so sorry. I hate doing this to you and Grace, I really do. But, I hope you can understand that I can't make a marriage work if it isn't meant to be. I know it's a lot, just don't hate me, please," she begged, fresh tears spilling from her eyes.

"I don't hate you mom. I just need some time to get used to it, I guess. And Grace will come around too. You know how she is."

"I know," she said, wiping away her tears. She was proud of her son and how grown up he seemed.

He came to her and embraced her again. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked, concerned for his clearly distressed mother.

"Yes, I will be. Thank you, Zach," she half-smiled at him.

He returned the halfhearted smile before heading to his room.

Alicia, left alone in the kitchen, slumped down in a chair. She wasn't sure how she had any tears left, but they came. All she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and let sleep help her forget her troubles for a while; but, it was early in the afternoon and she knew she still had a long day ahead of her, with a shell-shocked son and an angry and hurt daughter to deal with. She sighed. She knew this was going to be hard, but she had no clue it was going to be this bad. And it was only just beginning.


End file.
